guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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