how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
