The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
