I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Randomize
