we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The best revenge is premature balding
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize