he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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