Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
