I wannas sexs uuuuu
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize