Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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