Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
