One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
