I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
