He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
FUCK WHALES
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
