I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
