So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
