I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
