Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
so much tequila, so little girl.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
