it wasn't lemon gatorade
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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