i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
