we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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