Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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