i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
