Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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