She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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