We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
