Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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