sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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