I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
