At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
