I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
