let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
