I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
