She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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