This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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