Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ladies don't puke and tell
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
