i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
