NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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