Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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