do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
