I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
