Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry collegelover01 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

Fav 34 1362 3878
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.

Fav 24 1324 6451
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(961): View more from

I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit

Fav 28 8047 2041
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"

Fav 44 4234 1709
share tweet
(925): View more from California

We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous

Fav 62 1248 7204
share tweet
(732): View more from New Jersey

There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know

Fav 5 1921 1279
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

Fav 13 689 2139
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.

Fav 0 33 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!

Fav 0 126 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT