"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize