I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize