Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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