so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
