R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
