Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
