i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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