Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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