i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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