I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
