Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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