i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you never un-have a 4some
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
