they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
