Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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