He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
