Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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