just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
