She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
