I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
