i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize