He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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