Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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