Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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