you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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