So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This baby is an asshole
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
